Finally an update!

The second picture is for those that continue to read my blog with its irrigular posting. So I told John that a new post would be up well before now, but the show and switching classes came first as they were a little more important then a blog. But as the new semester started I got a few new classes, one of those being gym *insert groan here*. Now some of you might be thinking that I would be excited because I get to see guys changing, but that's not the case...although I did get to see some things that I might explain later. I don't hate gym but I don't love it. I was always picked last or close to last every year no matter the sport, even during recess tag in elementary school! It always hurt that I was never athletic enough and that my friends were skinner than me, as I was always fat for as long as I can remember, and from what I remember I was at least, AT LEAST 200lbs in 6th grade. I remember never dropping below 215lbs since then, and now I have about had it with being fat. I have tried the water diet, I've tried not eating period except dinner as my parents would force me to eat, and even tried counting calories, but nothing has worked. So I decided to do something about it, I'm going to start eating healthy and do a small workout every day and when the weather gets better, as I live in northwestern PA and we have a lot of snow and about freezing tempatures everyday, I will start walking/running. I saw a picture on tumblr of a guy who was heavy set and in 8 yes 8 months he lost weight and is skinny. (Look at first picture). That picture not only pissed me off that I can't get those types of results with my attempts, but it also showed me that results are not imeadiate. I guess I'll explain what I mean about things that I did get to see in the locker room while we changed for gym. But before I do John and Christine if you don't want to read this skip down to the ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ part and continue reading and John if you figure out who I am talking about don't use it against me, or mention it in school like you did with the 'Jake' thing for a little while, although I won't get pissed at you if you do, but I will have a mini heart attack if it's mentioned around others. So to start off the second semester in gym our teacher thought I would be a good idea to let us swim first thing and get that over with as we have to swim every year and a lot if not every guy hates swimming. So when we walk into the locker room we change into our swim suits, and thank god because for a long time the guys had to swim in their birthday suits...if you know what I mean. But that was changed in there 80's or 90's, not that I would have mind swimming nude, but being gay...would cause...a few...problems yeah problems for me. Also I...wasn't gifted in the...package no...manhood no no....downstairs furnishing....you know what I trying to say. I don't measure up 'down there' like I think I should, because in porn the guys are above average and according to science average is about 5 inches. But to get back to the point I was trying to make, we change then have to shower to get any dirt, and oil off of us so there pool stays cleaner. So after we swim we shower to get the chlorine off and then we change. We one guy, let's call him Alan, who is a wrestler decided to strip and shower nude and proceed to take his time drying and changing, and everyone got an eye full. Guys, and possibly girls, when you are at the gym and are changing you can't tell me that you don't sneak glances at other guys just to see how you measure up, not only 'down there' but chest, legs, arms etc. so I was concerned that I was staring to much as his locker was assigned next to mine, plus I'm a guy so I would naturally state and compare, but I'm also gay. So he has done that every day since the first day we swam. On Friday I was late getting to school because of the show and I woke up and got to school during gym class. First I forgot to grab my gym lock so I wouldn't get a low grade in class for not having it, and also I forgot my swim stuff even though I had a feeling I wouldn't have time to change and participate in the class. So after everyone was showering and changing I was waiting for the bell to ring to dismiss us, I was standing in front of the swimmers locker room. As a brief explanation our locker room has different sections for different sports, swimming, wrestling, cross country, and probably a few others, I don't know, and then the general gym locker room. So as I was standing waiting for the bell a guy who is on here swim team and in my class was changin in the swimmers locker room, let's call him Zack, was taking his time drying off, and I would assume that he knew what he was doing as I believe he has been swimming for our school since he was a freshman or at least sophomore. So as Zack started to remove his speedo , as that's his choice of clothing for swimming, his back was to me and I got a very nice view of his back side, and ass. I would never stare openly at him if I knew I would not get caught and I knew I wouldn't as the other guy who is also on the swim team and in my gym class had his back to me, although he decided to wrap a town around his waist, and everyone else was changing in the general locker room, and so I stared at him. My staring could have been interpreted as creepy, and I was embarrassed    that he caught me staring, but I made my staring look as if I was deep into thought and looking into the distance that he asked if I was OK. I told him I was fine and I walked away as the 'show' ended. He is in the popular crowd and I'm no where near that group of guys, so I was shocked that he talked to me. Nothing could make my senior year better then him actually talking to me, and better yet him actually making my fantasy true by coming out as gay and we start dating, but that boys and girls is why it's called fantasy, it will NEVER happen. I have that chance of him talking to me as our teacher decided to run a block schedule for gym and health this year, and Zack sits in front of me in health. But the odds of him actually talking to me are far and few between.

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 As a fast note my brother got his girlfriend pregnant about two or three months ago, but in a recent phone call his girlfriend miscarried. From another phone call form the woman he was living with who wants him for damage to personal property, she told my mother that he hit hs girlfriend in the stomach causing her to miscarry. I find that hard to believe as he loves kids and was extremely excited to be a father, only causing me to believe that he did not damage to personal property of hers. So I think this post got longer then I expected and I'll leave it where it stands. Also I might post a...well...post about my brother at a later date.